Are you used to the pain?

It's been with you so long that it feels normal. But you don't have to live with it any more.

A few months ago the keyless entry to my car wasn’t working. The only way I could get into my car was to manually unlock the boot/trunk of the car, reach over the backseat (luckily I drive a hatchback) and unlock the backdoor.

For the couple of weeks that it took me to fix my keyless entry, this is what I did. It started to feel normal. I was achieving what I needed (to unlock my car), albeit in a roundabout way. I felt like MacGyver, having found an ingenious fix to my problem.

I got a new key and suddenly it was super easy to unlock my car. I just pressed a button and it opened just as it should. No more climbing over the backseat to the stares of passers-by. And it felt strange. I had become so used to getting into my car in a difficult manner that an easier way suddenly felt a bit off. Too easy. Less satisfying.

Humans are adaptable creatures, which can be good and bad. On the bad side, we can become so used to doing things in a difficult way that when things ease up it can feel odd. We don’t know how to handle a situation that flows like it should without a block (or lock) in the way. So we self-sabotage and unconsciously f*ck things up, as deep down we feel like the difficult way is the normal way.

We get so used to living with the pain that it feels strange when we live without it.

When have you found one part of your life going well, and then from out of nowhere another part of your life goes up in smoke? Going well at work, but your love life is a mess or your finances are in disarray? It’s how Gay Hendricks describes in the Big Leap as our subconscious reaching its ‘Upper Limit’, believing we don’t deserve things to be good, that we don’t deserve success and love and happiness and financial solvency all at once.

We need to train our minds that yes, we can and will have all that we want. That ease and flow is our natural state of being and this should be what feels normal to us.

Back to my car. I quickly got used to unlocking it with the touch of a button. In life, I have learnt that work doesn’t need to be hard—that it can actually be easy, fun and satisfying; that I can make money doing what I love; that I can create how I want my life to look, structure my days my way and don’t need to follow a one-size-fits-all template.

If you have become used to living in the pain and doing things the hard way, and would like to learn how to be super comfortable with a life of ease and flow, join me for Your Bespoke Life. My four-week course will help you uncover your inner desires, makeover your mindset and make a plan to turn your dreams into reality. We begin October 16.

Are you ready to live without the pain?

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