You know what I mean: everyone else I know has x, y and z. I don’t. Therefore, I’m a failure/something must be wrong with me.
This can be felt at those moments when you feel like all your friends are getting married and you’re always sitting at the ‘singles table’. Or when it feels like everyone is off on some exotic holiday and you can’t remember the last time you lay by a pool sipping cocktails.
Or it could be you compare yourself to someone you deem thinner, fitter, richer, smarter, more adventurous, happier …
And along with this comes the belief that they are better than you, and you are somehow not good enough to have what they have.
You have comparison-itis.
Comparison-itis is more wide-spread than you would believe, mainly due to sufferers not admitting that they need help.
The effect of this dis-ease can range from mild feelings of jealousy and discontent to more severe cases of negative self-talk, which result in being stuck in the same patterns and not moving forward towards the things you do want.
But the good thing is, there is a cure.
The cure for comparison-itis is to turn the dis-ease into ease. Here is my prescription.
Make a list of all the things you have achieved
We often forget to focus on all the good things we have done and instead focus on what we haven’t done. Reminding yourself of all the great things you have done boosts confidence and helps you tap into your energy and drive.
Be happy for their success
Yes! Instead of bemoaning that you don’t have what they have, or bitching about others, express happiness and celebrate their success. Be genuine in your excitement for them.
The brain cannot be positive and negative at the same time, so choosing to be happy for them will also make you feel better.
Tap it out
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) aka Tapping involves tapping on various points on your body while affirming that ‘even though I feel like x I deeply and completely love and accept myself’. The technique rewires your brain. There’s lots of videos you can follow on YouTube, but Brad Yates is the one I personally like. Watch his Intro to EFT here.
Remember that comparison-itis can be beneficial when it inspires you into action. So if you do want that holiday, adventure, abundance etc then create a goal and start putting together an action plan so you too can inspire others.