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A little bit personal

This post is deep from the heart.

So much has happened for me this past month that I feel like I have squeezed at least three months worth of change and growth into four small weeks. There were good things, challenging things, exciting things, disappointing things—everything jumbled together. It was the month I had to have.

And during the past month I felt like I was pushing through all the things to get to the other side. Fierce focus and determination to do all I had to.

It’s now that I am sitting here, with tears running down my face, that I am letting myself release. Letting myself feel the feels.

Doing the last of the letting go. Reflecting on how I am different now. Grieving the person I was so I can welcome in the new me.

I have gone through so many moments of change and transformation over the past four years or so that this scenario is familiar to me. I no longer fight it and simply accept it for what it is. I let myself sit with the feelings, let myself soften, give myself what I need. Let the emotions flow from my body so they don’t get stuck. I don’t try to label what I’m feeling. I just let it be, because I know that this is needed and I am safe.

I never used to be like this. I used to stuff my feelings down and let them fester. But the feelings would find a way to be released, and when they came they hit hard. Sometimes they came out as anger. Sometimes they came out as depression. So along the way I learnt that it was better to let them come to the surface when they needed to. That showing emotion wasn’t a weakness, but a strength. It takes great strength to be fully present with your emotions.

Self-care is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot these days. Part of our self-care should be to honour our feelings, to ask ourselves what we need and say ‘today I need to sit with my heart and be gentle and accepting of whatever comes up’. To cry it out, dance it out, journal it out. To reach out to a friend, family member or professional if we feel we really do need some extra love, help and support.

The release of energy can make us feel tired at first. But generally rest and the good nights’ sleep that follows results in a clear head, a sense of lightness in the body, a lift in energy.

A sense that yes, you can go on, and it will all be okay.


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